Thursday, June 11, 2009

I had two doctor's appointments yesterday. One for the boob and one for the gallbladder. There's nothing wrong with the top half of me but the gallbladder's got to go. I'm getting a HIDA scan on Tuesday then Thursday I go talk to the surgeon. I'm a little freaked out but I'll be happy when this pain is gone. I know it's my own fault my gallbladder is screwed up and I know that the way I lost and gained and lost and gained and lost weight over the last 4 years DID NOT help.
I'm hoping to get it done before E leaves at the end of the month. 
I'm also nervous about all the eating changes I'll have to do. There's no more having a bad dinner and just being good the rest of the week because I don't want my stomach it act all crazy like I've been reading it has. E said since she's on WW again all the food she cooks should be fine because it's low in fat.
I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I went to the doctor 5 days ago and I was still 222. I'm fine with it. I haven't paid attention to anything weight related since then.
I'm almost 100% sure I'm going to have to get my gallbladder removed. I went the week before or whenever when I was 224 and had an ultrasound done. They found a polyp on my gallbladder. I read up on it since it's kinda rare and my doctor refuses to answer any of my damned questions without me forking over $20 for a damned visit that'll probably only be 15 minutes. Since mine is hurting me, which is something they usually don't do I'm sure I'll have to get it out. I have an appointment tomorrow to discuss what the hell is going on before she sends me to a surgeon for a referral. Another damned $40 I don't HAVE to have someone talk to me for 15 minutes before they decide to do anything or not.
I also went to the doctor last Friday because the week before I was laying in bed and felt a lump in my right boob. I'm only 29 so I know I shouldn't be freaking out but I can't help it. The doctor said it felt like breast tissue and it might well be but she's sending me tomorrow for a mammogram and an ultrasound to make sure. I know it's not cancer. I have no history in my family of cancer, I'm under 30. Hell I read a thing online that said when you're premenopausal being overweight actually HELPS not getting breast cancer. 
I'm scared though. We had so much stuff planned out just 8 days ago. Now everything is hinging on whether things go ok tomorrow. I'm scared and I don't know what to do. 
I drowned my anxiety yesterday in corn nuggets and freaking ranch dressing. I'm surprised I didn't have a gallbladder attack.

Monday, June 1, 2009

I'm getting married in the fall next year!!!
We decided on next fall to get married. I'm trying not to get all sick to my stomach. This is officially the first time we've talked REALLY talked about it happening. I have to lose 70 lbs. I know it's not that hard. I can do it easily in a year but I'm freaking out. These are the 3 dresses I can't decide between. I know I still have a long time and I'm gonna need it to look good in these dresses. Especially the first one from J Crew. The other two would hide any belly pretty good but that one has it all front and center. We found an awesome place with great wedding packages in Mass. We just have to decide whether we want to get married in Boston or Provincetown. P-Town I know TOTALLY cliche but it could be fun.