I'm sitting at a nice solid 203.5. Not bad. Would probably be better if I didn't have dental surgery to get two impacted screwed up wisdom teeth out and the only thing I can eat is soft breads and other gluten filled crappy stuff that give me bloat. I'll take the bloat and work it off this coming week as long as my teeth stop hurting. The doctor told me on my check up Wed. that they'd stop hurting by tomorrow. Well today I woke up and immediately took 800mg of Motrin and the pain is still sitting there. My dad said it's because I keep thinking about it. I only took 1 darvocet yesterday. That's really good considering over the course of the last two weeks I've been through 60 pills PLUS motrin and tylenol. Not good. I have a filling and crown appointment on the 9th and my teeth will be all taken care of. This really has been the month from teeth hell.

Whoops.

I go three months without posting it seems. BUT the good news is I'm still losing. On Saturday I was at 203.5. Yeah yeah ooooo 3.5 in 3 months. It's not great but I'm happy with it.  I'm still losing and that's all that matters. I have 14 lbs. until I'm back where I was 4 years ago when I lost all of the weight. I was 190. I want to get back there by the beginning of May. 

June is the beginning of us trying to have a baby. I'm excited and terrified all at the same time. I know if I can just make it to 190 before then if I gain at the MOST 20 during pregnancy I'll be ok. 

I'm so close to getting under 200 and I'm excited and a little bit scared. It's been 3 years since I've been under 200 and I'm trying not to keep sabatoging myself. Which I have been a little bit for the last couple of months. People have been coming to visit almost every week for the last month so I've used it as an excuse to eat, drink and have fun and not worry about losing weight, just as long as I was maintaining. BUT it's the final countdown here. I have 14 to lose by May so we can get this baby plan rolling. 

It's three days after the holidays and I just got back from my weigh in. Right before Christmas I weighed myself and I was 207. My goal for the holidays was to keep the weight off. If I lost weight OF COURSE that would be good but I just wanted to stay the same. After CRAZINESS of the holiday, the food and no exercising I'm at 207.5 :D I gained half a lbs. but that ok for sure.
I went to the bra store yesterday because they were having a B2G2 sale. I needed to be remeasured because I couldn't remember what I was last time but I knew that the 40H I was wearing was NOT effective anymore other than making my boobs look HORRIBLE. I'm a freaking 38DDD and THAT is why the bra is horrible. I can't freaking believe it. Since losing weight I've gone down 4 cup sizes. Right now at 17 lbs. heavier than when I lost ALL of my weight in 06 I'm wearing the same size 16 pants and wearing the same sized bra. If from here on out I lost all the weight in my chest I'd be happy. :D

I've been gone for almost 3 months! Things around here are CRAZY. As of today I've officially hit the 30 lbs. lost mark. I'm 207.
At the end of October I started noticing bruising ALLLLL over my body without remembering what I'd bumped into. My knees were hurting me so bad and my stomach was still acting wonky even after 4 months without a gallbladder. I started looking up my symptoms online and I kept getting Celiac disease. Thinking about all of my issues and remembering how my mom ALWAYS has stomach issues I went to the doctor. They drew SEVEN vials of blood and told me that they'd have to test for all this other stuff before they'd even test me for celiac. Since there's no actual medicine to take for gluten intolerance I just decided to eliminate it from my diet completely after my testing was done.
I have not felt better in probably my whole life. My stomach doesn't have the heavy laden feeling in it. My stomach actually GROWLS when I'm hungry. The knee pains went away and so did the bruising. I sleep better and I'm not exhausted all the time. All my tests came back negative except my B-12 being low which is a sign of celiac. But instead of getting another test done and the possibilty of having to have a biopsy done I've just decided to stop eating gluten. I've been dropping weight like crazy the last few weeks. I was back up to about 212 but without even really exercising I've been losing weight. E's going back on the Eat to Live plan after the new year and hopefully if she gets this job she's got an interview for we'll be getting a gym membership. I've got 17 lbs. to lose before I'm back to 190. After that it's all up to what time of the year it is. At the end of March I need to go into a maitenance phase because starting in June we're going to be trying for a baby. :D If I'm under 190 by April I'll be happy but even if I'm not I'll still be happy.
Everything is great and I feel like 2010 is gonna be an awesome year. :D

Cancer is a fucked up beast. It will completely wreck a person. I remember my uncle from when I was little. He was a huge tall man. He would pick us up and sling us around only the way a giant can and a child can enjoy. My brother wanted to be Uncle W when he grew up. Cancer reduced him to a frail old man before he passed on yesterday. You know what else is fucked up? People driven by money and greed. Just yesterday I was looking at a billboard and saw the Powerball was at almost 200 million. I knew I wasn’t going to buy a ticket but I thought about what I’d do with the money. 2 million to each member of mine and E’s immediate family. I’d fix up my grandma’s house and my Aunt S’s house. I also thought about getting a nurse to help my Aunt D with my grandma and a nurse to care for my Uncle W. since his wife does nothing but spend his money and make him lose his house where my cousins grew up and the business he’s owned since before I was born.

I thought these thoughts probably at the same time my Uncle was dying in his wife’s car because she’d waited too long and never called the hospital, instead deciding to take him herself at the very last moments of his life.

My mom called and told me he’d passed while I was here at work. He’s been sick for so long, more than 4 years but it was still a shock. My brain immediately started telling me that it was ok to go get some bad food for lunch today, COME ON you’re uncle just died it’s ok. Instead I went walking. It’s nice outside now and I’ve been doing so good all week. As I was walking over the bridge I saw a Crystal Water *The company my uncle recently lost* cup and smiled thinking of Uncle W knowing I’d done the right thing.

We’re going to D.C. next month for the National Equality March and we’re gonna talk to our potential donor. I’m excited and a bit freaked out that I’ve got to ask this man for help for a baby. 

At the end of last week I started weaning myself of soda. It’s been an overall easy experience except for the painful headaches that wake me up in the middle of the night and the horrible insomnia I had at the beginning of week. You’d think getting rid of caffeine would help me sleep but for the first few nights I was wide awake until all hours of the night. The last few days have been awesome though. I start getting sleepy and by 11 at the latest I’m falling into bed and right to sleep. I’ve gone from drinking atleast a 2 liter of diet soda a day to one 12 oz. in the middle of the day. I don’t have one on my way to work anymore. I deal with being fuzzy and wake up normally instead of the artificial alertness. A few weeks ago for E’s birthday we went out with friends to this great restaurant called the Casbah and over the course of our 2 hr. dinner I had 6 sodas. SIX. WTF!?

There’s no soda in the house anymore. It’s either Crystal Light or water. 

E and I both have issues with food but they’re very different. I do better when I’m losing weight myself not part of a gym or a program and E needs the structure. She also realized she needed more help. We decided to attend an OA meeting to see if this was the thing that would help her. 

I woke up on Saturday and my whole body felt so weird. I was horribly bloated and my ring hurt my finger so bad that I almost had to take it off. I had a teeth hurting migraine and didn’t want to go to the meeting but E needed to go so I got up. Before we went we stopped at Publix so I could jump on the scale. I got on and almost cried. It said 215. In the space of a week I’d gained 5 lbs. Though I ate alot of food at the baby shower we had at work on Friday and tore up some Dim Sum on Thursday I had walked atleast 3 miles everyday of the week and kept my eating in good shape up until Thursday. 

Usually I would have grabbed whatever food was closest to me at the register and shoved it in my mouth. I didn’t this time. I got a diet caffeine free coke and a 170 cal. rice krispie treat so I could take my meds. 

When we got to the meeting I felt really good that I’d kept it under control. 

Sunday I went back to Publix and the scale said 213.5 which makes ALOT more sense especially because that’s where I was before I got sick. Plus I realized that the whole week I had been eating frozen dinners chock full of sodium which I hadn’t been doing for awhile after E got home.

I haven’t really checked my weight this week and I promised E I wouldn’t until Saturday. I’ve been walking and eating between 1200-1400 a day so I should be good. We’re going to the Running of the Brides in either Atlanta or South Florida in March so I want to lose 6 lbs. a month to put me at 180 or so when we go. That’s a good weight I’d feel comfortable at. I’d like to lose 20 more after that but if I can lose 10 to be at 170 I’d be happy.

It's been a month of craziness. Things at home have been good. It's so nice to have E back after a summer without her. Wedding plans are starting to seriously roll and I'm freaking out because this is the time of year that FLIES by because almost every weekend from now until the end of the year we will be running around doing something with someone. 

HOW am I supposed to plan a wedding and lose weight in all of that!?

Catch a horrible sickness helps. :D

I got horribly, horribly sick last week. I mean losing 3 lbs. in 2 days because I didn't eat for almost the whole week. By Friday I had to go to the doctor who almost put me in the hospital but gave me a shot and meds instead and sent me home.

I'm feeling SO much better but MY GOD it was worse than my gallbladder surgery.

I'm down to 210. We're going to D.C. Oct 10-12 for the National Equality March and to visit friends. I want to lose ATLEAST 8 lbs. before then. That'll put me at 36 lbs. since I was there last year. 

It's starting to cool down here so I'm finding it easier to ramp up the walking. Plus I had two different people come up to me yesterday and say something about how they see me walking all the time and how much weight have a lost? They can really tell. I was really proud of myself because after one woman said something about my weight loss there was part of me that wanted to bust out the old, "Oh thanks but I have SO much further to go!" I bit that back and instead told her thank you so much and told her how she'd made my day. I was on a freaking HIGH after that. I was so happy.